The Right Way to Handle Criticism of your Writing

 

I bet you decided to read this post because you have trouble handling criticism of your writing and you thought that I could help you. Well, sorry to disappoint you. The truth is, I really don’t know how to handle such criticism myself.  

Like most writers, I am a very sensitive soul. As such, I tend to feel that any criticism of me--in my writing or in any other aspect on my life--is a direct attack on my worth as a person. I really don’t understand the concept of how criticism isn’t personal. If you’re talking to me or about me, it’s personal.

Especially if you are discussing any of my fiction.

Since I was a little girl, I have wanted to write short stories and novels. But fiction writing doesn’t come as easily to me as does my nonfiction writing projects. I struggle with the setting, dialogue, character development--just about every aspect of every piece of fiction that I write. Perhaps because of this struggle, I particularly do not handle criticism of my fictional creations very well.

Case in point…

Creative Writing Class

When I was in college, I took a creative writing class. During the semester, we had to write two short stories. After writing them, we had to email our stories to our classmates for their critiques. As if that wasn’t hard enough on my fragile writer’s ego, we had round table discussions where our stories were read out loud and each student--one by one--would verbally critique our work.

I had panic attacks every week. It was awful. Up to that point, I had never read anything about the right way to handle criticism of your writing--nor did I care to learn. I’m ashamed to admit this, but though I had a few more opportunities to take creative writing classes from that professor, I refused to sign up. I regret my cowardice now, because I missed an opportunity to really develop my fiction writing skills.

…or maybe not.

After making several changes to my short story--changes suggested by the group critique and by the professor--I entered it in the Writer’s Digest Annual Writing Competition…and won nothing. But a couple of years earlier, long before I took this or any other fiction writing class, I entered one of my short stories into this same contest and won an Honorable Mention.

Go figure.

Any Suggestions for me?

Since I have no words of wisdom on the right way to handle criticism of your writing, I was hoping that you might like to contribute some of your own tips to this post. Maybe you can teach me a thing or two.

 

Comments

[Kali]

I'd love to tell you there's an easy way to handle this, but there isn't. What I, personally, have done to help my sensitive soul is to remind myself before each comment that the commenter is honestly trying to help.

If I take this as a given, it allows me the freedom of honestly hearing the criticism. After that I have two choices: agree or disagree.

Sure there are the people who will cut you down just because they are rude, but I have deleted them from my current view of the world, and will hope to be able to ignore them in the future.

I am pointedly focusing on the fact that whatever comment is made about your writing, unless it is along the lines of "that's a run-on sentence", IS AN OPINION.

People are allowed to have an opinion. If you ask for it, they are allowed to voice their opinion. You are allowed to disagree with their opinion.

I hope that is as freeing for you as it was for me. I have felt more able to accept feedback in recent weeks since this "revelation."

[Christine Mattice]

That's a great idea, Kali. Thank you for the advice. I will try use your technique the next time I offer my one of my fiction pieces to someone to read.